To be or not to be????

Dear Reader,

I am making a very honest blog. I am writing this to actually help myself to learn and change. Please know I am not trying to put anyone down or be derogatory. Just a woman still learning.

I have had this one fear since I was a young girl: that is, to be tough enough to not look weak, but not too tough so I am not too much. Too tough, too rough, and not enough ripples. I have had to learn that there is a healthy balance, but it is hard to find..

How can one be strong and tough yet gentle enough to be respected as the feminine woman she is designed to be? I don't know if any other lady has gone through this before, but I am laying out my journey in hopes that it can help others.

I have always wanted to challenge myself to bear hard difficulties even survive in the woods if need be. I have also wanted to feel beautiful in a dressy outfit and enjoy adding a little makeup here and there. How about having a gentle and meek spirit but also the fury of a lioness? How can one woman have so many feelings, passions, and ambitions and not burst??

I desire to know the balance of the lioness's heart, which is gentle enough to carry her young in her mouth and then, the next moment, catch a gazelle with her teeth. This is the greatest desire I have, to be gentle and the mother bear. To embody all the attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman.

I love business, adventure, and taking a leap of faith. I love trying new things and, most of all, trying to change the world. We all have our own ways to achieve the will of the Father. I have felt so inferior because I am not a good cook, cannot bake bread, or enjoy wearing aprons. I feel I have failed as a woman for not being more like the trad woman/wife that so many aspire to be. But today, as I talked to my mom about this, it encouraged me in a way I have never been.

Here is what I learned and was so encouraged by. We as women are all called and chosen; we have been given the calling of creating life, creating a home, and being a helpmeet in every way possible. Creating life is having the spirit of a mother. Sarah was told she would be the mother of nations without having one child yet. We are to create a home no matter what that looks like or where it is. Home can be a mansion, a middle-class house, or traveling with the wind. Home is where your heart is. A helpmeet is able to endure any how when she knows her why. Her why is to help her family be the most effective for the kingdom. To build a piece of the New Kingdom, for a woman can build her house or tear it down with her own hands.

"Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands." Proverbs 14:1

We as women are all pursuing the same thing; we just have our different ways of doing it. Some sadly are fulfilling it in ways of the world, in idolatry or selfishness. May we be women who don't just do the things we do for the image, the likes, the applause, selfish gain, or anything alike. May we build for the sake of the kingdom! With that, we are building a perfect foundation.

Much love

Elysa