To all my exes...

Dear Bitterness,

You have seen me through all the pain. You saw what no one else did. You always had a way of making me justify all my other emotions. You were the master in the wall building. The mason in all my walls of defense against everyone on the outside. Like a sick hug of security and comfort, you held me in your embrace. But it came with a cost, the cost of my trust. You would faithfully whisper in my ear, "Don't you remember what happened before? They don't deserve anything. Especially with what they have done." I knew you would always have an answer for what was going on and a solution too. All the while you loved to see me grow smaller and smaller under your control. To the point I viewed almost everyone from the veils of pain that you so willingly surrounded me in. I trusted you at the cost of losing the sweetness of life. The smell of sweet grass, the refreshing scent of honeysuckle, or the saltiness of the ocean. Instead, all things had your smell, bitter. How I let you gain so much control, I don't even know. I truly thought that your way was the best, but in the end, all I got was me fading into oblivion. This is a letter saying your way was never the way to healing just more pain. You loved seeing me hurt and never wanted me better. So I am over you, you won't rot my bones anymore. I will once again know the sweetness of life that I lost when I was with you. Goodbye.

Dear Anger,

You would always stand up with your fists raised ready to fight anyone who would simply look at me the wrong way. The power that came from this passion and rage was so intoxicating. Like an addict, I craved the emotional high that came from feeling like no one could mess with me. Why did you come into my life? Oh yes, I remember it was because I felt like I had to be the hero. Like no one would stand up for me but me. I was so afraid of looking weak, vulnerable, and used. I was tired of everyone seeing me that way, so you became my constant companion. From the smallest remark someone gave me to the screaming in my mind. You loved to see me lose myself in the rage; you would laugh as I tore myself apart and everyone around me. Your ways are not hard to see: smash stuff to show off your ability, shout to be the loudest, puff up to be the biggest, and stare down so that the torment is inside. The stronghold that you build is built in the mind of your prisoner. You don't want to heal; you only want to hurt. Anywhere from the explosive episodes to the ones that would boil like a volcano inside, you are done. Your rampage is ending and you can move on. Because you never helped me, there are things to be angry at, but you never pick the right reasons. Goodbye

Dear Fear,

I would have to admit you were my favorite. I have known you the longest and deepest. You have been around for so long I have a hard time remembering a time without you. You came in most of the time so gently and softly. Like a breeze through an open window. I would go through something and there you were. Your lies and voice would sound so much like my own that I started not knowing who was who. How you came in and just welcomed yourself into every part of my life. Until I turned around and it was as if you were living life instead of me. Because you know what was safe and not, why did I think you knew so much. I gave you so much of my life that many times it would look like you were my god. You slowly took over the places that were once the altars of Yahweh and made them altars to yourself. I truly believed you would keep me safe and secure from the things that hurt. When actually all you were doing was using me to live the life you wanted. Not a thought about what that would do to me. The control that you gained over my life was masked in the best sales pitch. "Give this amount of yourself and I will make sure you won't get hurt." How did I really fall for it? You came when I was at my weakest and sold me the ball and chain at the good price of my life and soul. You are the worst of all of them, out of you come Anger (fear of pain and more), and Bitterness (fear of being open and more). You come wrapped in the most convincing way and make us all slaves to your doings. You have too many slaves and I am no longer going to let you rule my life. You never pick the right type of things to fear, all the irrational ones. Goodbye to you is the hardest because you chase the hardest. But I want you to know don't let the door hit you on the way out. When you come knocking just know I have no more space for you anymore, so take your baggage with you and go. Goodbye.

~

Dear Beloved Reader,

You get one life, this chance right now. If we don't decide to live it the way we want, then something else will live it. Stop letting these things stop you from living in the abundance you can. You were created for JOY, PEACE, and RIGHTEOUSNESS. These things make Yahweh's kingdom. So that means we can have a taste of His kingdom here. But He does not share His kingdom with the kingdom of darkness and the world. So say your goodbyes to the things holding you back. Open your eyes and look around you. Look at all the possibilities around you and the beauty that surrounds. I hope you say goodbye and leave these excuses and embrace the future!!!!