If you are waiting raise your hand...

Waiting for love. Life’s most daunting and maddening task. Why does it seem that it is a desire as hungry as a forest fire? Why does it seem to burn the whole world and yet many times leave the worst burns and scars? Love is supposed to fill the hunger deep in our bones. This is one reason the waiting process is the most difficult.

Here are five reasons that make waiting so difficult

1. Truama

2. Lack of worthiness 

3. Loneliness 

4. Boredom

5. Pressure from others 

Trauma is number one because in the search for love and the desire for it comes with past pains and experiences. Especially if you have been betrayed, hurt, cheated on, or in any other situation that would cause a lack of trust in love. Trauma is the culprit of the lack of trust in love. This goes hand in hand with the second one. Not worthy of love.

Lack of worthiness is second because this comes right after you love someone with everything you have and it still was not good enough. This can be a family member or someone you were romantically attracted to. The exposure to divorce can very easily cause this as well. You tell yourself things like “There must be something wrong with me.” “Why would anyone love me now?” “I am just a mistake and ruin everything.” It turns into a self-sabotaging mission to remove the sense that you deserve love. Which causes the next one to come naturally.

Loneliness, now we have all this history. We have all this baggage that we haul with us and also into all the relationships that only last but for a moment. Until the trauma and lack of worthiness make us shut down. We shrink back behind the walls of safety that we build to keep ourselves safe from hurt. Also to keep others safe from the fear of hurting them with who we have become. So the cycle of loneliness never goes away even if you meet a great and amazing person. You can’t fill the void that seems to make waiting impossible. 

Boredom is next because sometimes we just have so much time on our hands that getting into a relationship seems to help fill our time. Or we are running from something, even ourselves. It can also be the lack of drive for purpose, and pursuing a higher calling leaves a lot of time on your hands. So, to solve this, stop thinking that you have no purpose in life. You have a great and mighty calling. You are not an accident, and you are not a mistake. You have a mission to complete, and only you can do it. If you don’t, you are cheating this whole world out of the amazing things you can do. Don’t fill your time with hollow and empty relationships. Use that time to pour into yourself and something higher than yourself.

Pressure from others. This can be the feeling that you aren't good enough until you are married. Or that you aren't complete yet until a wedding ring is on your finger. Or a mother who wants to be a grandma, a friend who keeps trying to set you up. In some cases, it can even be the pressure of being in a negative household, where the environment makes you want to have any chance to escape. The pressure of any and all situations needs to be turned down to healthy levels. If you are feeling this, then just be open with all those involved and express the way you feel. 

Waiting is hard, there is no denying that, no matter what your reason is. Waiting is the one thing that the fast food society is trying to eradicate from our lives. Thinking that waiting is a bad thing, and not trying everything and anything is considered uncool. Well, I think it's time to start a new trend of being uncool! We have all heard it and even said it ourselves, “Great things take time.” I do agree with this statement and it brings a type of solace. You can agree with me that on those nights when you just wish someone was there to hold you, or when you wish that you could just hold someone’s hand, you have to feel those feelings and be real with yourself. Here is the encouraging part: you have a purpose in this process. Do not turn to momentary pleasures that only make you happy for a moment and miserable the next. Quote me on this.

 “A moment of pleasure is not worth a lifetime of regret.” - Elysa Lizarraga 

So, in this waiting, take courage, dear one, and know that there is a reason and purpose for everything. It is worth the wait. I am a person of faith, and I believe that Yahweh (The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob) creates the season of waiting so that we gain wonderful, amazing things of worth for when we find the one. I will have to say that you can try this on your own and try to have strength in waiting. But I guarantee that you will get worn out, lying on your back, staring up at the ceiling, just wanting real love. The love we need to fulfill us as we wait can be found only in one place that is an anchor against the waves of life. The love of Yeshua (Jesus, The Messiah, The Son of Yahweh). In this waiting, it helps to see what causes the torment and address it. So look into yourself and get real with yourself about what is causing the issues. Then get on the road to overcoming, and know it's okay to be waiting and wanting. But it's not okay to be discontent and struggling. So, in the waiting, make it count!

Love

yours truly Elysa